The World According To Ledge Southby

Ledge Southby, a south lad born and bred, has an opinion on absolutely everything. Most of all though having played 539 games for the club through the federal league, South Eastern league, Southern League and including 1 VAFA game (they banned him from the ammos as he was too good) he bleeds South Melbourne Districts and is often seen getting off the Claredan St tram with his Shields Transport Red and White tracksuit top on.

Ledge prefers hand delivered mail, so he can have a yarn with the author but will accept email at ledge.southby@gmail.com
 
Dear Ledge,
My Dad reckons real footballers should look the part and tuck their jumpers in and play with their socks up. My problem is when I try this I can’t get a kick. What should I do?
Jeffrey
When Ledge started with the 'dishlickers' running around oval 11 outside south tech, we were so poor the club only had 5 jumpers for the top 5 players. Most weeks I was chasing the leather half nude and still dominated. So Jeffrey man up and consider yourself lucky to even have a jumper.
 
Dear Ledge,
With the global financial crisis all the rage these days I was wondering whether you think I should invest my super-annuation in a pack of greyhounds as a safer option rather than putting my hard earned into the bank. What do you reckon?
Baz
Big Bad Bazza, Im surprised you have any superannuation, you haven't worked since Bobby Skilton was the king of lakeside oval. Ledge's advice to the average punter out there is get down to clarendon st TAB and back number 12 on trackside. Guaranteed money in the bank, thats why Ledge Southby is 'rolling on doves' these days.
 
Dear Mr Southby,
I recently acquired a V10 Jaguar which unbeknownst to me at the time is frightfully unreliable and often stolen by hoodlums from the front of my West St Kilda townhouse. I’m wanting to trade the damn thing for something that comes with far fewer problems. Can you recommend any automobiles that may suit me?
All the best, Jonathan
Jonathon, first of all, you refer to me as Mr Southby, that shows respect. Were you an opponent of mine ? They all used to show me enormous respect. To answer your question, Ledge reckons go get urself a pushy, trade the jag in and go throw it all on number 12 in trackside.